Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
