let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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