I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it because I queefed?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
