i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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