didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
