Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
