So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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