I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
