i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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