Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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