I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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