I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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