i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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