you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so let's talk penis.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize