how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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