so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
