She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
