you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
