so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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