Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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