She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
