did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
