the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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