He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
