My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
