We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize