I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
