what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
