I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She bit a glass in half.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
BRING THE BAGELS
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
