You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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