she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
