i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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