We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
