well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
