I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
