He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
