no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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