Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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