Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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