Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize