I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
