Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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