The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
