I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
