Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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