And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
