i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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