Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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