No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you had me at cake vodka
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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