I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
