break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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