I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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