I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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