Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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