I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We need to rekindle our bromance
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
