all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
