I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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