Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
