pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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