i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
